How An Important Lesson From Stand-Up Saved My Career At Google
Have you ever felt that itch? The one that creeps up on you after you’ve worked in the same job for a few years? The one that makes you feel unsettled at work, even frustrated? The one that tells you that change is needed?
In my 10 years at Google, I felt this repeatedly. Among the reasons for staying with Google for so long are the opportunities Google offers to scratch this itch; like changing roles, trying out new teams, and even moving cities (case in point - I started in Dublin, worked in London, now based in New York).
All of these things would give me a temporary reprieve from that feeling of frustration. However, the itch would keep creeping back...
This hit me particularly bad in late 2017. I had been in the same role for a few years, and it was reaching the point where I lost interest in the work. I couldn’t figure out why though. I used to love this job! It ticked all the right boxes: a global role, with plenty of travel, and high visibility. Why the hell was I losing interest? Things got so bad, I started to speak to HR, my manager and director about leaving Google.
One thing I still enjoyed about work were the nights out with colleagues. And it was on a random night out in the Brass Monkey with them that things started to change for me. After a few too many drinks, one of them passed a comment: “You might make a good stand-up comic”. I can remember who exactly it was but I have a feeling it was Armand Hershowitz or Neni Pogarcic, wise men the two of them.
This struck a chord with me. I loved going to comedy shows. I go to shows all the time with mates and I’d be lying that I hadn’t considered doing it myself at some point. Now that someone else had said it to me though, I felt inspired! In my hungover state the next morning, I signed up for classes at the Manhattan Comedy School.
My mind jumped between thinking this would simply be me trying something different, to how this would be a brand new life for me; Madison Square Garden awaited.
In reality, stand-up has taught me more about what I should be doing with my career at Google than I could have ever imagined. For one, it taught me something that has changed the way I look at my career - Honesty.
What I mean by honesty is being real with myself (and the people around me) about who I am and what I need to live my most authentic life.
My first gig was in February 2018. I had material about drinking, priests, and anything else vaguely Irish related that I thought might get a laugh from a New York crowd. It got some chuckles, along with some congratulations and pleasantries afterward. Fantastic experience, I loved every moment of that night. I couldn’t wait to write more material and do another show .
Comedians re-watch their sets to figure out what went well and what didn’t - so that’s what I did when I got the video back the following day. Wow, was it awful. Truly, truly awful. My jokes were terribly put together, hacky material. I cringed watching it, and I cringe even thinking about it now (for anyone who attended that first show, I’m so sorry).
While the jokes were bad, the main thing that disappointed me was that I didn’t recognize the person in the video; it was not me. Everything from the mannerisms to the temperament felt off. I was changing my personality to one that I thought the audience wanted to see. I was acting like an angry, bitter Irishman. That’s not me; I like to think of myself as more of a playful, insecure geek. I wasn’t being honest with them, or myself.
During my stand-up lessons, I learned of the key difference between a good comedian and a great comedian - how much of their authentic selves they show to the audience while on stage, where the comedy comes straight from the heart.
In my 18 months of doing stand-up comedy, I have been lucky to perform on the same stage as comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan. Each time, they tested out new material that was raw, unrehearsed, but came from the heart. And each time, no other comedian on those nights got bigger laughs. It wasn’t about how good the material was, it was about how honest they were.
Seinfeld and Gaffigan understand who they are, and their comedy reflects that. They believed what they were saying, they were giving the audience an insight into their thoughts, it came naturally to them - they weren’t trying to force it.
When an audience sees someone who’s disingenuous, like I was, they don’t connect. I realized that my early shows were terrible not just because my jokes were terrible, but also because I wasn’t bringing my authentic self on stage.
It took some time, but I came to the realization that I also wasn’t bringing my authentic self to work.
I had convinced myself that the things I wanted in my career were the same things that my job was offering; the global role, travel, high visibility. In reality, what is most important to me is feeling like I’m having a positive impact and making people’s lives a little easier.
I was also uncomfortable revealing some of the more geeky and playful parts of my personality to my managers and colleagues. There were wants and needs I had for my career that I wasn’t sharing; I was afraid of judgment or being vulnerable. Instead, I was acting out a false personality that I thought Google wanted; a worldly, confident strategist.
Because I wasn’t being honest, I was changing my personality whenever I set foot in the office. As a result, I ended up following a career path that wasn’t true to me. That was the main source of my frustration, the source of the itch.
From that realization onward, I decided I was going to try to be more honest with myself, my manager and my colleagues.
While there are numerous career advice articles and books which say ‘You Should Bring Your Full Self To Work’, I don’t fully agree with this idea. I’m not going to act the same stepping on to the stage at Gotham Comedy Club as I would if I were meeting with a big name client. Along with being totally unprofessional, they won’t appreciate my comedy judging by most audience reactions. I should be going into these situations with a different version of myself, an edited version - a persona. While changing your personality is never a good thing, changing your persona can have a remarkable impact.
I’m going to really simplify this, so bare with me. When I go into work I may lean heavily on my geeky side. When I step on stage to perform comedy, I may lean into my playful side. Both are still me, just different sides of me.
Since I’ve started doing this in Google, two major things happened:
I was happier in my role and was soon promoted.
I recently found a role which matches the needs and wants for my career.
This may not be a permanent solution to the itch, I’m sure I’ll want a new challenge again in the future. However, my frustrations are gone. I’m focused on the things I care about (mostly), and I am happier with the persona I bring to work.
No one or two characteristics define who we are. We can use a mixture of multiple true characteristics to build personas for ourselves - a work persona, a family persona, a hobby persona. We can have numerous personas that can be applied to all areas of life. As long as they’re really you.
I'll let Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson in Fighting with my Family explain this is a far more charismatic way:
Even though this crazy wrestling world is a fictionalized world, the fans know 1,000% if you're not being real. All right? That guy just now, that was The Rock. The Rock is me. Dwayne Johnson. Just with the volume turned way up, the treble adjusted, the bass. Same guy.
Dwayne Johnson, along with Seinfeld and Gaffigan, know who they are. They use this to create a stage persona, and connect with the audience.
Now that I know this, I’m constantly asking myself:
What makes me ‘me’?
What do I care about?
What do I want to be known/remembered for?
Maybe when I have better answers to these questions, I’ll be able to succeed in my career (and comedy, but that's less likely).
Now read this back again while listening to Cyndi Lauper - True Colors.
